The Sixth Big Lie..

Welcome back!! Welcome to part 6 of a 10 part series on healing is a choice based on Steve Arterburn book “Healing is a Choice”. I have been working through some anger issues and seem to have finally been able to release them. Although I have worked through many things and during this recent journey gone back through some memories that occurred 32, 41 and 43 years ago, I am going to try and continue through the 10 lies that we are confronted with. Yes, they are all lies. Time does not heal all wounds, no you do not need just God and you to heal, and no you cannot do this all by yourself!!! I have told some of you this already, I have bought some of you the book and have promised to buy it for others. There is a workbook associated with the book that I have purchased and this material can be gone though in a small group. I am also thinking of doing the material in a small group setting as we all need healing from one thing or another.

In any event, the SIXTH BIG LIE is “if we act as if there is no problem, it will finally go away”. I used to live my life with this lie as my motto. It is the very essence of being “Queen of De Nile”. In fact a little over three years ago I was so deep in denile I actually refused to look inward or back in any way. I was afraid. I was afraid of what I would find if I did an introspective. Since then I have had at two chances to look inward and to look back and it is really okay. I really did not have too many skeletons (no not Red Skeleton) in the closet and I was able to get them out, sit down with them, have a little tea with them and bury them. Bury them dead this time, and not alive. If you bury them dead you do not have to continue to feed them nor do they grow. But I digress.

Nope, you have to face your problems and your fears. The good thing about this is that they are yours and not any one elses. God will give you the grace you need to deal with your own past. They will never go away. Your memory will not be erased. History will not be changed. You must face your life and then embrace it. Make it your own. Quit running from it. Admit it.

I often refer back to Patrick Morely book, “The Man in the Mirror.” This book discusses the 24 issues that can come into a man’s life. I have often said yes I can relate to the book, I just did not realize I have to face 22 of the 24 issues!! (For those who have read the book I will leave it up to your imagination which two issues have not been a major problem for me). I have pretty much faced them all at one time or another. Some say we face these issues so we may be able to help others work through their problems. I feel well equipped!! Face it we are all screwed up!!! We have gotten ourselves into financial messes, made bad choices of spouses, developed bad habits with alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, spending and eating. We have ruined relationships, lost loved ones, burned bridges and let our anger and pride boil over and over and over. Most of these wounds are self inflicted but many of our wounds we are not responsible for. We could have been wounded by an abusive family member, being a child of divorce, had a loved one die or only God know what else that might have happened to us that was NOT a result of our own choice. To summarize, we are all screwed up!!!

But this is what I am. I am in recovery. I just don’t have enough time to list all the wounds. We are all in recovery for one thing or another. If you need help, seek it. I needed it and I got it. I am getting better. I had to seek help on several fronts. Most importantly I needed Jesus. We all do and He died for all. The Bible tells me so. You can’t do it on your own. You need Jesus, you need the Body of Christ around you, and you may need a trained professionial!! But to move forward I had to accept my life “as if” this is the way God intended to be. God does not intend for bad things to happen, but He can and often does bring good things from the bad.

You may have to make some radical changes in your life. Look at Don Ossenhiemer. Don has had a serious setback with his health. He is looking at months of rehab and physical therapy. Don seems to have accepted things as they are and is making some radical changes. Things will change radically in your life at one point or another. Personally I will never be a recovered alcoholic (I will always be recovering) or never not be married to my second wife (I pray). Seems like this would be a good place for the Serenity Prayer.

Finally you may have to embrace the abrasive. I remember from the 40 Days of Purpose small group material Rick Warren inviting us to look and around the room. He said if you don’t see an “extra grace required or egr person”, guess what, you are it!!! Face it, God puts these people in your life. They have been called “grace growers” or “character builders”. God allows these struggles, and in permitting them He uses them to to advance His purposes and His kingdom.

Alter your expectations and embrace the life you have, it is the only one you have. If you do you can live far beyond the expectations you had before. They just won’t be the same ones…

I cant wait for the 7th big lie. And it is a big one…

Speak or act a blessing into someones life today. IDYBT. I must be off..



  1. Jim, I see all the prayers at work for you my friend!

    I agree with you in all of this, and would like to elaborate a bit on one point.
    You said, in effect, that some of the wounds we have are not our fault. I agree. What is our fault sometimes, is that we keep picking and digging at these wounds instead of covering them with Jesus, and letting them heal. I have been guilty of this many times, and I probably will be again. The point I am trying to make is to accept the wounds, they will heal if we will let them (by doing what you are doing: prayer, counselling, Godly company), but the scars will remain as a reminder to not make the same mistakes.
    What do you think?

  2. where's jim? Said:

    I have heard talk about a vulture and a gnat. When the hurt is big (or the scar ripped open) it is like a vulture sitting on your shoulder. The idea is to shrink the vulture to the size of a gnat. It is there, but you can easily swat it away. It never goes away..

  3. ok, I’ll go with that.

  4. Kodiak Said:

    We all have wounds and scars. I heard it once said that our heart never completely heal after an injury. One person once said that if offered to exchange her old heart for a new one she would turn it down. Citing that along with all the heartbreaks there were also a lot of memories associated, so with all the imperfection and heaviness there were also lots of love.

  5. reminds me of the Garth brooks song, “the dance.”

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