Archive for February, 2007

It’s Time for Blogfast…The Dark Side of the Digital Revolution

You know it occurred to me.  It is time for blogfast.

I read an article recently by Phil Cooke in Joyce Meyer’s Everyday Life Magazine on the Dark Side of the Digital Revolution.  Some people make 90 cell phone calls a day.  Others send as many as 84 text messages a day.  Coincidently other studies show that Americans are reporting fewer and fewer closer friends. 

Technology has brought wonderful changes to our life.  Cell phones, computers, pda’s have made a dramatic change if how we do our personal and business communication.  Thanks to the media we are aware of Internet scams that prey on seniors, the explosion of online pornography and online predators who target minors for sex.  One of biggest concerns should be is how it affects our behavior.

I used to enjoy the radio or tape player while driving, but know I have my cell phone in my ear and checking email.  I know people who take their cell phones into the bathroom to make calls and check their email while they are on the can.  So what is to be done?  Are we destined to live our lives out over the internet, on a cell phone in digital isolation?

What are we to do?

First, you could take a media fast.  When you get the urge to check your email or messages during a funeral or email the person in the next office or cubicle it might be time for a media fast.  Turn the computer off.  So I am going to go on a self imposed blogfast.

Second, be more agressive about developing personal relationships.  Expand your community and get to know people.  Enlarge your network of PERSONAL freinds.

Third, encourage community building.  Through your neighborhood, business or local church spend time developing “community”.  Be proactive in creating more face-to-face opportunities.  Do something with somebody, not to them.

So if you need me, try and call me.  I will be checking my email so you could email me to set up a time to talk to me.  In the pyramid of communications, an email is far superior to a blog, a phone call is vastly superior to an email, but there is nothing like face to face.  So come out from behind that computer screen and live for a while.

 See you around!!  I must be off!

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Transformational Leadership

You can catch the wave of the new buzz here!

Confessions of a Change Agent… or The Power of Change

I came across this in the most recent Joyce Meyer newsletter.

 I thought you might be interested.

 

People hate to change.

You can read more about this here.

HELL NO!!!

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You know it occurred to me.  I took several pictures but this one really stood out as maybe on of the finest photographs I have ever taken.  Pretty good likeness, don’t you think?  You know I have found you can create quite a buzz in the blogoshpere with a photo.  Actually a real personal photo gets the most attention.  I set my all time record for hits just a few days ago with a very personal photo.  But I digress.  I guess you could call this photo “the after”.  I will get to the  before later.

 So while many images from yesterday stir in my brain, this is one that sticks out.  I have another image from after the service yesterday, of many people in groups of 2-5 all over the auditorium, praying, crying and sharing with one another.  Reminds me of the scene from the movie we are going to watch next week at our small group for the dedication of the HEBREWS 10:25 Small Group Multimedia Center, but anyway I digress again.  There you go again, life imitating art.  That is a double digression.  But not redundant. (not yet)…

Well now seem like a good time to get to the before, that is now that it is later. 

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Do you see any differences?  I mean in the after?  After what? What happened before?

Back to the title.    Have you been angry?  Are you in contempt? How about lust or addictions of all kinds?   Have you been a spritual road block to a new Christian? Are you afraid?  What of? Are you afraid of someone?  Something?  The unknown?  The future? Most of you who read this attend New Song Church.  How many times did you raise your hand yesterday?  I did not peak.  I raised mine at least twice that I will admit to.  I do have my own personal hell here on earth.  Do you?

What buzz were you talking about around your watercooler today? Are you ready to make a connection? Do you want to take the next step?  Are you ready to explore all that God has to offer you?  Do you want all God has to offer?  Are you ready to take advantage of the opportunities God has afforded you? 

Do you want to live in hell here on earth?    Hell NO!!!

If someone annoys you, tell them, but calmly

By Terry Pluto

I was paging through a book called God Will Make a Way.

What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

It was the subtitle that intrigued me: What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do.

Checking out the table of contents, I saw this chapter heading: “Toxic People and Conflict.”

Not that I’ve ever encountered anyone who’d fallen into that category, but just in case — I checked out the chapter.

Written by Christian psychologists Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, the book has lots of ideas of how to deal with conflict, jerks and other fun parts of life — especially on the job.

So what do you do when you don’t know what to do with a person driving you nuts?

They suggested that you first ask the person if you could “give them some feedback.”

If the answer is yes, then explain “that certain remarks or actions have hurt you and made it difficult for you to do your work, and you would like for him or her not to do it anymore.”

My thought is to add, “You may not have intended it this way, but it did bother me when… ”

The key is tone of voice. If I turn into a prosecuting attorney, he or she will immediately get defensive. If I act wimpy and whiny, I probably won’t be taken seriously because I’ll sound like a child.

Try to sound very straight and matter-of-fact when outlining the problem — and be as brief as possible. Wait until you have calmed down before bringing it up.

For example, just say, “When you criticized my work in front of all those people, it really hurt. I wish we could have done that away from everyone else.”

Don’t say, “When you SCREAMED at me and made me FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT in front of those people, you really came off like MANIAC, and I didn’t appreciate it.”

With some people, no matter how you approach them, they will be offended. But rarely do I see people even attempting this technique. It’s much easier to complain to others about the annoying person rather than try to actually talk to the person about the problem.

“People are usually more able to hear feedback than we give them credit for,” write Townsend and Cloud. “Let someone know how his or her behavior affects you. Look past your fear and see if he or she takes feedback from others… then you might just need courage.”

The authors also said to make sure that you aren’t looking to the boss for approval. The job is not your family. Your boss is not your parent who should gush every time you do what is expected.

It’s so easy to become angry when we do something extra and it seems no one notices it… or when someone who is masterful at bringing attention to themselves receives praise from the boss.

A point the authors didn’t discuss is that too often, people just don’t want to confront a problem. This is especially true in church settings, or where people may think they are “spiritual.”

To some people, that means don’t say anything to anyone that may upset them — just hold it all inside and grow resentful. Or even worse, gossip and gripe about it to others.

This also holds true in marriage and friendships.

One party can be convinced everything is working, and the other wants to grab a baseball bat and belt them in the forehead.

There have been times in my life when someone has told me how I hurt them, or how a part of my personality was a problem. My wife has to remind me that when I feel rushed or under some pressure, I tend to start ordering people around rather than asking them to help.

I don’t like hearing that, but I know she’s right.

Most of the time when people have confronted me with any sense of courtesy, I eventually realized there was some truth to their complaints. Later — remember, I just said later — I came to appreciate it, and I apologized.

Looking again at the book’s subtitle: What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do.

In this case, try talking to the other person first.


Terry Pluto can be reached at terrypluto2003@yahoo.com. Sign up for Terry’s free, weekly e-mail newsletter “Direct from Pluto” at www.ohio.com.

From the Maxwell Leadership Bible

The Maxwell Leadership Bible Developing Leaders From The Word Of God

  Resolution:  Jesus Taught How to Manage Conflict (Matthew 18:15-20)

There may be no clearer passage in the Gospels on conflict resolution than Matthew 18.  While Jesus spoke about addressing sin in the church, His words suggest broader principles.

According to Jesus, addressing conflict and healing offenses should be a priority for us.  He evens instructs us to postpone our worship if we remember an unresolved offense (Matt: 5:23,24).  Conflicts will arise in any organization.  Humans disagree because they are wired differently and have different agendas.  Note what Jesus taught about organizational conflict when someone has clearly done wrong:

1. Initiate the contact (v.15)

2. Confront the person in private (v. 15)

3. If no resolution comes, meet again with one or two more people (v. 16)

4. Confirm the facts in the meeting and work toward a solution (v. 17)

5. If no resolution comes, bring the issue before the church or organization (v.17)

6. Agree upon the truth and the appropriate options for the offender (v.17)

7. If no resolution comes, release the offender from the church or organization (v.17)

Behind this process lies the authority Jesus has given to church leaders (Matt.18:18-20).  We must act wisely, because we have God-given authority (18-18), because God will confirm and support the decision made in harmony (18:19), and because He is present when we gather in His name (18:20).

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