Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?


 If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that one enjoys it?

There are three religious truths:  
a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b.. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters.

 If people from Poland are called Poles, then why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?

 If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?


Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety-one?

 If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, then doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

 If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

 Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

 What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

 I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me…they’re cramming for their final exam.

 If it’s true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

You never really learn to swear well until you learn to drive.

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn’t zigzag?
If a cow laughed really hard, would milk come out of her nose?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?


As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice: When you put the two words “The” and “IRS” together, it spells “THEIRS”?



  1. sam Said:

    I’ve seen these before, but they are always hilarious. especially the 3 religious truths!

  2. The Pudgeman Said:

    I like ’em! I haven’t heard most of these. I guess I am not as well read as Sammy!

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